The Angel's Penance
by shewhowearsglasses
Summary: "Goodbye, Dean." And here he was. Pressed against the wall, moving his fingers over the blade, testing out the sharp edges. Dean/Cas


**Inspired by last week's episode. But seriously: if this fucking happens in the show, I'm gonna cry for 3 weeks. Or at least 3 days. Fuck everything. WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GIVE CAS A HAPPY ANYTHING?! FOR GOD'S SAKES!**

**I'm coming back soon by the way. I have a new story concept in the works, and like 3 oneshots in progress.**

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**The Angel's Penance**

The pain was too strong. It wasn't real. It couldn't possibly be real. If it was real, it meant he'd done so much more destruction.

He'd fallen back into the trap.

He was a puppet, and there was no way out but up.

The blade was shining in the sunbeams above him, he crept tighter against the building, pulling himself into a seated position.

He could practically hear the scorch marks on the pavement as the Impala screeched around town, searching for the fallen angel it would never find. Least... not until it was too late.

_"Dean."_

_"Hey Cas," he could hear the grin stretching across the man's lips. "What's up? Sammy says-"_

_"Dean."_

_A pause as the other end of the call blinked, finally registering the severity of his tone. "What's up, Cas? What's going on?"_

_"I'm..." He paused, feeling his breath leave him in quick gasps as he tried to calm his vessel. "I'm being controlled by a higher power. A woman named Naomi had control of the angels. She's making us-"_

_"What? You're being- like a puppet? Wait. Slow down, Cas!"_

_"I cannot slow down, Dean. This is important." He took a deep breath before continuing, pressing his shaking hand into his pocket, "Naomi is making us do things. I... I killed Samandriel. She made me kill him. I cannot control my thoughts or my body. I cannot go on like this. I cannot continue to kill my brothers and sisters like this."_

_"Cas, stop. What're you talking about? You can't go on? What?" Dean sounded frantic, and he could hear the Impala's wheels marking the roads as he probably turned back. "Where are you, Cas? Let's talk about this!"_

_Sam's voice was in the background, "What's going on, Dean?" A soft breath that Dean ignored as he continued to try talking him off the ledge._

_"Dean, I cannot do this. I'm sorry."_

_"Wait, Cas!"_

_"Goodbye, Dean."_

_And the line went dead, he heard a yell just as he pressed his finger to the End Call button. He pushed the phone into his pocket, replacing it with the angel blade in his left hand._

And here he was. Sitting, pressed against the wall, moving his fingers over the blade, testing out the sharp edges.

"Dean," he whispered into the darkness, gripping the blade tighter. "I'm sorry it had to end this way."

Then, he moved the blade into place, taking a final breath and allowing a bitter smirk to slide onto his lips. A single tear leaked from his blue eye as he shoved the blade forward into his chest. Light filled the air around him and pain. Pain like he wouldn't have believed possible. Then, darkness. Nothing.

His final memory was the breaking of a car and the shout of his name.

"CAS!" Dean screamed, seeing the light and thinking of nothing else as he stopped the car and burst out of the car. He was sprinting toward the bright angel and the car wasn't even off. He reached the dying angel just as the light dimmed and his head lolled forward, Dean caught him as the scorch marks burned into the pavement. His wings.

A numbness gathered around his heart that slowly crawled across his chest, up his neck, down his knees, and up past his fingers. He rocked Cas back and forth as he tried to piece back together the broken man. "Cas..." He whispered, his voice breaking in a dry sob.

"Dean. He's-"

"I know." Dean nearly shouted, not even looking at the taller man behind him, kicking his feet awkwardly against the wing marks and trying to keep a straight face. "I know."

Dean cradled the man's head to his, pressing their foreheads together, forgetting the feeling of the nipping winter air for just a moment. "Cas, I'm sorry.." Dean whispered, not quite understanding but remembering the conversation they'd had months past.

_"-I might kill myself."_

And if Dean had watched closely, if he'd noticed the signs, he might just have avoided this entire situation. He squeezed his eyes tight, and reached around the angel, picking him up just as Sam moved back toward the car. He glanced at Dean questioningly, "Dean?"

"Let's finally give him his peace."


End file.
